The list

"The List" as it is being called is really beginning to piss me off, not because I feel bad for the scum that is in the country illegally but because I am tired of hearing about it. Does anyone else find it ironic that they are talking about how these people broke the law by providing this list of people that are in this country ILLEGALLY!! I say we call it a draw. However if people still have a problem with it I have a solution, if you are on the list get the hell out of my country. You are a cancer on the USA and you do nothing to help the quality of life to the citizens of this nation. Please don't give me the spill about how they do the jobs that nobody else will do because that is horse shit and everyone knows it. The difference is that people that will do the jobs actually need to make a decent wage to provide for their families. The rest of us cant run down to the nearest welfare office and get free food and free money, we have to work for an honest wage. The argument is made that the prices will go up if they employ people for more money and I can explain the folly of that argument as well. If the cancer would leave our nation they would put less of a burden on our tax system therefore the taxes would be lower. I know getting the smart people in charge to lower taxes is kinda like getting goat milk from a lizard but the truth is that they draw millions from our government every year and with out them here our taxes should go down thus covering the higher wage of the legal US citizen. Please don't get me wrong I welcome new citizens to our great nation, I don't blame them for wanting to come here, but I do think they need to play by the same rules as the rest of us. I know it takes a long time but tuff, those are the rules. I don't want kids to be torn from there parents if they were born here but last time I checked there are kids in Mexico so take them with you. So in parting please remember that our country got along fine without you for hundreds of years and we will do better without you here, when your here legal we will welcome you with open arms, you wont need to worry about being on some list, you will be able to travel across Arizona without worry of the cops sending you back to Mexico you can even buy another escalade but you might find it is harder to own when you don't get free money from Uncle Sam.

Thirty down

Tomorrow I will have been on this earth for thirty years and it has had me thinking about how things have changed. First and foremost is how my outlook on family has changed. I think the way I look at Mom and Dad has gone through the most changes, When I was younger Mom was the one that would save me from the fire trucks as they screamed past the house in the middle of the night, I am not sure why but those stupid things would scare the hell out of me, I would run out of the bedroom to mom and she would give me a hug until they went past and then she would take me back to bed. Mom then turned into the taxi, she was the one that always knew where I had to be and at what time I had to be there. Dad was the one that would beat up any monster or kidnapper that would ever wish to do me bodily harm. About the time that mom turned into the taxi dad turned into the enforcer, the one that I feared ever finding out I had done something wrong. Then there was the teenage years where I am sure I was just as big of the pain in the ass to my parents as I thought they were to me. Some where around 19 or 20 I started to see that my parents really did know what they were talking about and in fact they did have my welfare in mind. Now as I am about to turn the big 30 my parents are friends and most importantly role models that I hope to pattern my life after.

Brother and Sister have gone through a drastic change when it comes to how I look at them. Once upon a time they were the two little red heads that did nothing but bug the hell out of me and take my stuff, also they would unfairly blame me for stuff that would in turn get mom and dad mad at me…. Or so I thought. Today as they have been for the last 15 years, they are my best friends, both of which I am very proud of. I truly would go to hell and back for each of them to help them out. I know enjoy time I spend with them and I look for excuses to hang out with them.

Grandparents when I was younger were the fun family members that always gave me candy and toys when I saw them, I am lucky to have made it into my adult years and still have all of them in my life, I lost a grandpa a few years back but he still made a huge impact on my life, My other three grandparents are still alive and going strong, Now my grandparents (all of them) are my truest heroes, If when I get to there age I am able to look back at my life and say I have accomplished what they have I will be a lucky man.

Family is huge in anybody's life and I am lucky to have been raised in the family I was, I married a good woman that comes from a great family as well, which makes me think of my wife and my outlook on girls in general. When I was young they had cooties, lots of cooties! Then that magical time of life hits and suddenly they are all that a feller can think about and they become objects of lust. Then something clicks and you find out that girls while they used to do nothing but give you cooties suddenly there is that one girl you cant live without, and you must have her by your side forever. And then the BIG MAGIC happens and she is carrying my daughter and wowie! It blows my mind how much she has to deal with and she is fine with it, If it was me I would have swapped out my girl parts for boy parts around four months ago. And the big part is yet to come, eventually she is going to have to push that little thing out of her body! No thanks, I am happy to be the moral support on this one.

Citizenship in the good ol U.S. of A. is another thing that has changed, it was at one time just a pain in the ass, All it was to me was a load of homework and stupid stuff I had to memorize. Now it is a deep sense of pride and a huge blessing that I was born into the greatest country on this earth.

Bottom line is that I hear people say that they have gotten depressed turning thirty and I cant see any reason for me to feel that way, I was raised in a great family, I married a girl that came from a great family, I love where my life is right now and I wouldn't change any of it, even the stupid stuff I have done because I have learned from it all. Bring on the next thirty I am excited to see where they will take me.

One year and counting

Lindsey and I are at one year and neither of us can believe it has been a year already, A year ago today we were scrambling to make our back yard look half decent for the big dinner with everyone over. Praying the weather would hold out for us and we wouldn't have to try to stuff a bajillion people into our humble home. It worked! God was on our side and held the rain and snow and our evening was great! The next day we would wake up relieved with the knowledge that the day was finally here. The amount of help we received from family and friends still leaves me in awe it all came together nicely, Lindsey and I were married by a very dear family friend and that made the day all the more meaningful to me. It was an amazing day to me that I replay in my mind often.

Our home has came along way as well. New carpet has been laid, paint has been put on the wall (still not 100% complete do to my hatred of painting), the yard has come along way in one year, I had my first year of gardening which was a success in some areas and a disaster as well.

In one year we went from having a huge backyard with nothing in it to having circulated four horses in and out, we acquired a new pooch who is one of my best buddies. And I also learned that I am able harbor hostile hatred for a neighbor dog or dogs, which ever fits at the time. Mice have become a mortal enemy to me, it is a battle that I believe will rage for years to come.

I also found out that I am going to be a dad, that's huge news! That's a pretty big life change and it has all happened in one year, perhaps that is why It feels like it has gone by so fast and I only have one regret, and that is that I didn't marry her sooner.

I am sure that the next year will have even more changes, Having a baby wont mean than I just have a sick wife, in a year I will actually have to look after something that poops and isn't cover in fur. Lots of nights up with a screamer. I have tried to lecture this child while it is in mommy and tell it to stop making her sick but it doesn't listen, that shouldn't surprise me, I didn't listen to my dad like I should have, so it looks like I am going to be handing out an ass whooping on a regular basis.

Long story short this last year has been great and I am excited to see what the next year brings, our next anniversary we will still be husband and wife but mom and dad will also be added to our title. I should be a fun year.

Teachers should shut up

    I think teachers should stop hiding behind the kids and take the lay off, They say that larger class room sizes will make it harder to teach blah blah blah, 95% of teachers are horrible at their job already so it is really a mute point to talk about how much harder it will be to teach, if you suck at your job it doesn't matter if an outside condition makes you suck more. For instance I learned (without a teacher teaching me) that if you poop after eating something that tastes bad it stinks if you poop after eating something that tastes good, it stinks and dear teacher you are that poop! You have been failing at your job for the last 30 years and don't whine to me about money because there is the rare teacher that does a great job and they do it with the same class sizes and the same amount of money as the rest of teachers. I wish I could hide behind kids when it's time for me to be laid off and I bet the rest of the people in America wish they had that luxury as well. Instead we have to work hard and actually provide a service to the people that employ us. But not teachers they just have to whine to a camera and then bleeding heart parents will sympathize with them and they have their jobs for another year. The whole nation is suffering and just because you teach should not give you a pass. I know I am heartless bastard but I want you to take pride in what you do don't just take your job for granted. I cant stress enough this is not aimed at all teachers just the majority, if you're a teacher and you read this and you get mad, then you are who I am writing too, here is your wake up call. Adults are supposed to protect kids not hide behind them.  

The end.

I went to school for this

Ever thought to yourself I wonder where my poo goes when I flush the toilet? Well I know because I work at a poo pond! They are doing some upgrades with some of the Obama money and the company I work for got the contract so I get to spend eight hours a day at a poo pond. It is pretty interesting to see how it all works. I thought that more went into making poo water safe before they turn in back into the lake but that's not the case. It by far is not the most high-tec place I have ever worked at but interesting never the less. All they really do is punp air into the poo water to make the bacteria break down the poo so it takes air and time and then it sends it back into the local lake. When it is really foggy and you walk threw the mist you can't help but think to yourself is this poo mist I'm walking through? The other day a big tractor trailer came to the job to deliver some electrical gear to me and he almost rolled his rig into the poo water! They had to bring out an even bigger truck to get him unstuck, that was an eventful day at the poo ponds! We are digging a trench that's about 1500 feet long in a part of the plant that hasn't had any poo water in in for about 20 years but we still dig up certain things, without going into too much detail there are two major things that don't decompose one is something a lady would use once a month or so, and the other is something a male would use after some romantic time if he was being safe. The crazy part about all this is that I thought I went to school so that I wouldn't have to work a job dealing with this stuff. I was mislead. The plus side is that it is a quiet job I usually cant hear myself think in most of the places we work in. I also get to see a lot of nature, the job is in the middle of nowhere because the people that live in the town don't wana smell their poo (smart people).

I don't know why I felt the need to share this with every one, perhaps it is because the fun of grossing out my wife with tales of the poo pond has grown dull for now so I needed a fresh audience . I have even gone so far as to show her the video if us throwing rocks into the 6 inches of poo after they drained the pond. The reaction I received from that I wasn't sure how to read, Was it disgust at the poo splashing 10 feet in the air or was it disgust at the fact that her new husband gets a thrill out of throwing rocks in to other peoples poo. In my defense I am still a kid at heart and I believe any boy would not pass up such a chance of a life time, and then to show it to a girl and gross them out!! that's PRICELESS!! That's about all I have to tell you about the poo ponds I hope you enjoyed reading this small story about where your poo goes and how a college education doesn't always save you from a CRAPPY job……. HA!

Help Me Understand

Could someone please explain some peoples fascination with failure? Why do some folks look at people who lost wars as heroes and idols and feel like they need to commemorate them? In magazines I see all sorts of decorative plates and wall plaques and lamps and…. Well you name it and they have something displaying rebel pride and has the southern flag on it I have seen stuff that says what a great leader that Robert E Lee was and ditto about Stonewall Jackson. Don't get me wrong these men were pretty amazing in fighting for there home states and going up against the north but bottom line is they lost. The north won and we did have leaders on that side of the line as well and here is the crazy part, they are the winners but I have yet to see a jacket that has a mural on the back dedicated to Grant. Or how about a plaque dedicated to the President that won the war in his own country, after all he did free how many slaves? Sure he was shot later but he had a pretty damn good run, if you really want to be impressed read about the stuff that was going on in Lincolns' personal life up to and during the Civil War. If it is a pride thing about being a southern state I would think that they would rather have something that resembles success rather than failure which in my mind was what I think of when I see the Rebel flag. The proof is in the fact that Old Glory is the banner hoisted all across this nation , it is the flag we pledge our allegiance to. Not the Rebel Flag.

Another example is people that look to the Germans during WWII as something great and often refer to their war tactics. Please correct me if I am wrong but I believe we gave them a pretty good kick in the ass as well. Didn't we defeat the Nazis? Why do people want to have their uniforms and patches. We are all pretty much on the same page when we put Hitler in the jack ass category so why is their military looked at different? They lost, we won. Perhaps we should have dropped a couple big ol' bombs on them because I don't see near the infatuation with the Japanese and they came closer to beating us than the Germans did.

In both of these cases I totally exempt collectables, they are a piece of history and I get that but the stuff I am referring to in the case of the Germans is military surplus junk. The confederate stuff is all modern day made garbage. I don't get it. Why not commemorate the heroes, the winners?

If I am wrong please forgive me and perhaps help me out and explain this oddity to me.

War

I declare war! I have had with these domestic terrorist! I have been silent long enough and now it is time to act. I have tried to co-exist with them, At first I thought this place is big enough, we can get along. But they have gone too far! I have talked to the wife about this problem but I don't think she understood the magnitude of this situation so the other night I took her deep into there world. I showed her the compound they call home and now she understands the threat they pose to us. However I was not quite ready to declare war until tonight. I needed to gear up before I took on this enemy so last night after we had a nice meal together we went to the gun store and after talking with the nice man behind the counter we found the weapon that suits my needs. It is a Berreta and it is sexy! It holds 12 shots of hell and brim fire intended for my enemy! It will send the shot out of the muzzle at 350 feet per second, for low light conditions and quick shots I purchased a laser for it and that just makes my new weapon all the more sexy!! I purchased 1000 rounds just to get me started and now I am ready. As I said before I was willing to try to get along but when they started to eat my tomatoes that was the last straw!!! Now the mice must die!! I will no longer tolerate them in my garden, in my shed where they eat my lawn seed and poop on my lawn mower. I am going to end this battle for territory before they make it into the house. I want them to know that the citizens of Brandol-topia will not stand by while they push us around and take over our place while we stand there helpless . No we the people will fight back with deadly force! Sure I will use land mines (mouse traps) but I want them to see the face of there enemy so they know I am not afraid and I will fight for what is mine. So to all the mice out there please know that me, my dogs and my new pellet gun will be on regular patrols. No females or infants are safe from my fury. I will shoot, therefore if you value your life it is best you back up the family and head some ware else. I am coming and hell is coming with me!!